Suffering with Perfectionism

 



Overcoming Perfectionism

 Perfectionism is a trait where someone feels the need to do everything perfectly before moving forward. This can prevent us from taking action and achieving our goals.

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is the excessive need to do everything perfectly. Some signs of perfectionism include:

  • Not starting tasks or projects until conditions are "just right"
  • Extremely high standards for performance
  • Harsh self-criticism for any mistakes
  • Trouble completing tasks because they can't meet your own expectations
  • Procrastination and avoidance of tasks out of fear of not doing them perfectly

As Patricia shares from her book: "Anyone who has suffered from perfectionism knows it doesn't necessarily make you better and often leads to disappointment or failure." The trap of perfectionism can cause significant problems in our ability to take action and achieve success.

The Costs of Perfectionism

Perfectionism comes with a heavy price tag. When we strive for flawless performance in every area of life, we often end up paralyzed and unable to make progress. Perfectionists frequently struggle with:

  • Procrastination and avoidance of tasks that might not turn out perfectly
  • Burnout from pushing themselves too hard and never feeling satisfied
  • Missed opportunities because they wait for the "perfect" moment to act
  • Damaged relationships due to unrealistic expectations of themselves and others
  • Anxiety, depression and low self-esteem from constant self-criticism

The costs of perfectionism are high, both in terms of our mental health and our ability to achieve our goals. It's a trap that many people fall into without realizing the damage it can do.

Why Do We Become Obsessed with Perfectionism?

There are a few key reasons why people develop tendencies towards perfectionism:

  • Childhood experiences - Having very high expectations placed on you as a child can lead to internalized perfectionism later in life.
  • Anxiety and self-doubt - Perfectionism can be a coping mechanism for dealing with anxiety or self-confidence issues.
  • External pressure - Pressure from work, school, family, or society to perform very high.
  • Personality traits - Some personality types are more prone to perfectionist thinking.

Regardless of the cause, perfectionism usually starts as a way to cope with external pressures. Over time it becomes an obsession that holds us back.

How to Overcome Perfectionism

If you identify as a perfectionist, there are steps you can take to overcome this roadblock:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparing your performance to friends, family or public figures sets up unrealistic expectations. Instead, focus on being the best version of yourself. Celebrate your unique strengths and talents, and remember that everyone has their own path to success.

2. Focus on growth over perfection

Excellence is about consistent improvement, not flawless performance. Evaluate your growth rather than seeking perfection. Celebrate small wins and milestones along the way. Remind yourself that mistakes are part of the learning process.

3. Set realistic standards

Set reasonable goals and plans that stretch your abilities while still being achievable. This helps avoid self-criticism. Break big projects down into smaller, manageable tasks. Prioritize what's truly important and let go of the rest.

4. Accept mistakes as part of the process

Giving yourself the grace to make mistakes takes away their power to stop your progress. Reframe mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. Ask yourself, "What's the worst that could happen if I'm imperfect?" Chances are, it's not as bad as you think.

5. Get an accountability partner

Having trusted individuals who support your growth helps gain perspective when perfectionism kicks in. Share your goals and struggles with a friend, family member or mentor. Let them encourage you when you're being too hard on yourself.

6. Practice self-compassion

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would a good friend. Notice when you're being self-critical and consciously shift to a more compassionate inner voice. Remember that everyone struggles sometimes. Perfection is an unrealistic standard that no one can truly achieve.The path to overcoming perfectionism starts with self-awareness and patience. By focusing on personal growth and reasonable goals, you can break out of the perfectionism trap over time.

Conclusion


Perfectionism is a common trap that many people fall into, often without realizing the damage it can do. You can overcome perfectionism and achieve your goals by setting realistic standards, accepting mistakes, and practicing self-compassion. Remember, progress over perfection is the key to lasting success and fulfillment.

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